We might not come from the same place and maybe we believe that we couldn’t possibly have anything to talk about, but we do share this experience of being alive. Maybe that’s all the common ground we need.

It was a spring morning in the Bywater neighborhood in New Orleans. I was feeling raw, and honestly just wanted to stay clear of everything and everyone to protect my overwhelmed nervous system. I went by the local coffee shop, and when I fumbled with my cash, desperately trying to count out the right amount before imploding, I mumbled something like “sorry, I’m having a blurry day”. This might have triggered different reactions or no reaction at all, but on this magical morning the girl behind the counter said, “I’m right there with you”.

This might seem unremarkable, but to me it made all the difference. Based on the assumption that the world and the people in it could only add more discomfort, I had temporarily excluded myself. By allowing me my sensitivity and offering me companionship, the girl behind the counter had re-included me.

We don’t have to tell strangers our biggest struggles or become best friends. We can keep it simple; acknowledge each other’s existence, offer a single sentence of validation, share just a tiny bit of ourselves. The impact might be huge.

It’s so easy to just rest on our default setting; we give each other the once-over, categorize based on appearance, deem relevant or not, and then we either move closer or move on. And that is if we even dare to look up.

Once I did this experiment when walking all the way along a nature stretch in Copenhagen. My objective was to connect, but even eye contact turned out to be almost impossible. By the end I felt depleted and lonely.

We might shield ourselves in general or we compute based on the before-mentioned default setting.  However, it’s possible to overrule this and choose a more indiscriminate contact. I mean, by talking to strangers we are almost guaranteed to have our horizon expanded, to experience a sense of recognition, to feel validated and supported, to have our assumptions challenged and our minds stretched, to receive new perspectives, inspiration, ideas. Even just one of these options would make it all worth it, yes?

Years ago, I used to be a very active member of CouchSurfing where we not only talk to strangers; we invite them to crash on our couch, spend days with them, learn about their world. I’ve had some of the most meaningful encounters with some amazing people who started out as strangers but turned into significant forces of inspiration. Spending time with Jenna from Newfoundland inspired me to buy a ticket to India and to start a blog, both which turned out to be life changing. Kyle saved me from staying in a crack house hostel in Hawaii and in the process providing new friends and adventures. Soniya from Iran gave me wisdom and calmness when I was exhausted from travel and heartache, and because of her I sometimes make my coffee with cardamom seeds. Countless others made me reconsider everything I thought I knew and reassures me that even if it sometimes feels like the world is breaking apart from conflict, there’re people whom I can trust spread out across the planet.

It doesn’t matter if we come from completely different backgrounds, we are alive on the same planet and in the space between us we have the choice to create something new; something that will enrich our lives and make us grow. isn’t that what we’re essentially here to do?